Seventy
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Dianna
L ight, bright and shimmering, darted past the window. I zipped up my
jacket and practically ran down the steps. The thick boots Neverra had
given me made me a little slower. I rushed into the kitchen and abruptly stopped near the island as he rounded the corner.
“You were able to get away?”
The grin on his face deepened. “You asked. I made it work.”
I hadn’t realized how much I wanted this until I heard those words.
Relief flooded through me, and I smiled back.
His brows furrowed, and for a moment, I thought he would tell me it was all a joke. I waited for him to rip this away, cruelty much more familiar to me than kindness. He gestured toward me and cleared his throat. “Your hair… It’s lovely.”
I slid my fingers through it. “Oh, thanks. I straightened it. Imogen let me borrow some stuff.”
He swallowed and nodded, but I wasn’t sure he’d heard me. His gaze slid slowly over me, and I felt it like a caress. Was he nervous?
Samkiel cleared his throat again. “Alright.” He placed his hands on his hips, his council garbs flaring behind them. “What ghastly tortures have you concocted for us today?”
I smiled brightly, bouncing on my toes. “You will need warmer clothes
for where we’re going.”
One of his brows ticked up. “Oh?”
“It’s going to be pretty dangerous.”
“S o , this is your plan ? T his is how you are going to finally kill me?” he groaned, sprawled out on his back, his arms and legs extended.
“My, my, the mighty and legendary warrior taken out by blades and ice.” I leaned my hands on my knees and smiled down at him. “Who would have thought?”
The glare he sent me had me laughing so hard that I nearly ended up next to him. Once I had my giggles under control, I extended my hand.
“Come on.”
He took it, allowing me to help him up. He corrected his posture, but I
kept hold of his hand, not letting go.
“Keep holding my hands.”
He looked shocked, but he obliged, his gloved hands engulfing mine. I started skating backward, and he stayed upright for once. Snow continued to fall while a slow, cheery melody played. Thick foliage lined the rink, and multicolored lights floated around the arena.
“I do not like this.”
I moved a tad faster. “Why? It just requires balance. That’s like your whole thing.”
The look he gave me made me throw my head back and laugh.
“Shoes with a single blade seem like an appropriate weapon, but not a great idea to move around on ice.”
“You got this,” I said as I swayed, grinning at him. “I’m going to let go now.”
“Why?” He almost sounded scared, and I bit back another laugh.
Carefully, I let go of him and continued to skate backward. He wobbled, his arms swinging, but managed to stay upright.
“Don’t flail your arms. You’ll fall.”
“I have fallen eight times already,” he said, shuffling forward.
I grinned and shrugged. “Maybe you need to get rid of some muscle.”
He managed one of those damning glares that set my blood boiling.
“Then what would you stare at when you think I am not looking?”
I continued to skate, placing my hands behind my back. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” I said innocently.
“Mmhmm.”
I made a large circle around him and moved to his side. “Watch me.
Move your feet like mine.”
He glanced down, watching my feet slide left and right. He copied the movement, his natural grace kicking in, and soon our feet were in sync.
“Good job.”
He smiled widely, this time glancing at me. “Thanks.”
I extended my hand toward him, and I could feel his surprised pleasure.
He took it almost reverently but held it firmly. “How did you get so good at this? You never told me.”
I squeezed his hand as we went around the rink once more. “Gabby and I came here during the first big Celebration of The Fall we spent together. It was a few years after they opened. I got a week away from Kaden, and we spent every day here. I busted my ass way more than her, though. She was a natural at everything, and I hated her for it.” I smiled, realizing the memory didn’t come with the same sharp pain as before. “We tried to do this every year so we could get together for the holiday.”
His expression changed, but I couldn’t decipher the emotions.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “While your story is lovely, and I wish you two could have had many more of these adventures, it’s just very strange to me, and I suppose mildly uncomfortable, that Onuna celebrates a day that haunts me.”
I hadn’t considered that aspect of the holiday. Samkiel had nothing but painful memories associated with The Fall. “It’s more about the celebration of life, not the destruction. Everyone was terrified, thinking the world was ending. I mean, for us, the sky literally fell, but it wasn’t all bad. Gabby helped me see that. It may have changed our world, but it gave us the technology we would never have developed, medical knowledge that helped cure so much, and people were just nicer afterward. The Celebration of The Fall is just another way to show appreciation. It showed us how fragile life can be and to appreciate the ones you love always.”
I didn’t realize Samkiel was staring at me until I finished. “What?”
“That was… beautiful.”
I smiled softly, bumping softly into his shoulder. “Gabby’s words, not mine. Trust me, I still hated you all and thought you were the scourge of the universe.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “There she is. I was afraid you might have gone soft.”
“Who?” I pointed toward my chest. “Me? Never.”
We skated, only the sound of our blades biting into the ice breaking the silence.
“Thank you for bringing me here. I know it means something to you.
Anything you wish to share with me means a lot.”
My heart leaped at his words. I knew he genuinely meant it. He always meant what he said and never shied away from how he felt. I’d been broken into so many pieces, and Kaden had taught me that each shard could be used as a weapon against me. It was so hard for me to crawl out of that pit and feel safe expressing any emotion. That was one reason I’d brought him here, away from everyone else. I wanted to try.
I dipped my head, letting my hair fall forward to shield my expression.
“You haven’t fallen in almost five minutes. That’s a new record.”
Samkiel allowed the change of subject and nodded proudly. “It’s because you have not let me go yet.”
He squeezed my hand, and I smiled at him. A dark lock of hair had escaped his hat, falling across his forehead. He looked so mortal, trying to keep pace with me, so out of his element. His thick winter coat was black, mine was white, and our jeans were almost identical. I wondered if he’d intentionally matched his clothes to mine, but I chalked it up to my overthinking brain. He hadn’t let go of my hand, and a part of me wanted to yank it back, rebel. The same part that was terrified to experience anything and took comfort in being emotionless and callous
“Can I ask you a question?”
He snorted. “Why would you hesitate now? Don’t you always?”
I bumped my shoulder against his. “I’m being serious.”
He smirked. “Go on, ask away.”
“Why don’t Logan and Neverra have any children? I know celestials can.”
He was quiet for a moment as we skated. We took another pass around the rink before he spoke. “There was a procedure on Rashearim. Most males, especially those in power, got it to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
Many didn’t want heirs from their consorts, and even more, were waiting for their mark before having children. It’s reversible if you wish, but most
don’t.”
“Oh. I’m assuming you did it too?”
Samkiel chuckled. “Why do you ask? Ulterior motives?”
“No.” I shrugged, feigning innocence. “Call me curious.”
“Yes, I had it done, too. Logan and I both had it done after a… umm… scare.”
I couldn’t hide the coil of jealousy that wrapped around me. I whipped my head toward him, but it only made him laugh.
“Like I stated—a scare.”
“Oh, so there are no tiny Samkiels running around the universe that you may not know about?”
“No.” He glanced at me warily, and I braced myself. “I had many consorts, and I did not want any more scares during my free time. Also, most wished to bed me for an heir, and I did not want that either. My father might have wished that for me, but after I witnessed what became of my mother with my birth, I would not damn another to that fate, especially one I wished to share life with. I don’t care if it would have benefited the realms. That’s too steep a price.”
My heart ached for him, even if I didn’t enjoy hearing about his consorts. It was nearly as bad as reliving his blooddreams.
“You really are a knight in shining armor, aren’t you?”
He scowled. “What is that?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, obviously not believing me.
“What about you? Do you want children?”
I thought about it, and my heart clenched. “Maybe before, but I’d never damn a child to a life with me.”
I felt his eyes rake over me. “I know you don’t see it, but I don’t think anyone would consider themselves damned with you.”
I didn’t refute him, but I felt the opposite. Children meant home and family, and I’d given up on that long ago. If I let myself dream, I could imagine children and a husband, but I’d never want to burden anyone with me. Even if he said the opposite, I knew the truth. I hurt everyone I cared about, and I would never do that to my babies.
We swayed side by side, our hands clasped as we slid smoothly over the ice.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said. His voice shook away the thoughts that plagued me.
“You didn’t. Pinky promise.” I gave him a forced smile.
“Then what are you thinking about? You disappear sometimes.”
“Do I?”
He nodded. “Sometimes you retreat so far in your head I’m afraid I can’t reach you.”
I was an open book to him, and he read every page I learned. I couldn’t throw my words like acid to burn him; he merely brushed them off. I couldn’t hide behind my anger and hate because he knew better. He always did. His words softened an unruly beast in me, soothing its thrashing body back to sleep. He had no idea how utterly and completely wrong he was. He always reached me, which was the problem and another reason among many why I left when Gabby died. Samkiel could drag me out of my pain and misery, and he would help and be there for me when all I wanted was vengeance and blood. I didn’t want his help then, didn’t want him to reach me, but now? Now I thought I was ready.
“Sorry, I’m hungry.” I squeezed his hand in reassurance to let him know it wasn’t completely a lie.
“Mm-hmm,” he said, allowing me to change the subject again. “I don’t know anything nearby that would still be open.” He was right. It was well past closing time for the rink, and since we were trying to avoid being seen publicly, our options were limited.
I caught sight of a gray van half-hidden behind the trees, and I pulled us to a stop, the ice crunching beneath our blades.
A mischievous grin lit up my face. “I have an idea.”
“I need to inquire further about your ideas before I agree ,”
Samkiel said with a huff.
I leaned over, digging through the cabinet. An array of every item needed to make whatever I wished lay frozen in the icebox. I smiled, the cool air brushing against my legs as I popped up, placing my arms across the short metal table.
“What do you want, handsome?” I asked, leaning through the window and pointing toward the menu on the side of the food truck.
His grin was dangerous, his pleasure at the compliment easy to see.
“This is stealing. You do realize that?”
I waved my hand. “Eh, I call it borrowing, and technically, you’re an accomplice. You broke the lock, then started the truck. So…” My voice trailed off.
He shrugged. “I’m innocent. You coerced me.”
“Barely.” I snickered.
He bit the inside of his cheek, stifling his laugh, before looking at the colorful menu hanging from the side of the truck. “Can you actually make what they have here?”
I placed a hand on my chest. “You doubt my abilities?”
“You’re insufferable.” He grinned and pointed at one of the items pictured on the menu. “Okay, how about this?”
I blew a small whistle through my teeth. “A god with a sweet tooth.”
He chuckled as I retreated into the truck to gather the ingredients, the sound wrapping me in warmth.
W e sat at a small table outside , bundled up in our jackets and sitting close. Music spilled from the truck, low enough not to disturb. There were five dishes between us. After my first two failed attempts, Samkiel climbed into the truck with me, and together we worked until we got it right. We had fun. For the first time in so long, I’d been able to relax enough to enjoy myself, and it didn’t feel like he was avoiding me. I would be okay if I could just have him alone like this.
“You’re doing it again,” he said, nudging me with his shoulder before taking a bite of the sweet dessert.
I tipped my head and licked my spoon. “Doing what?”
“Disappearing,” he murmured, his eyes going hot as he watched me.
I smirked at him and stabbed the circular frozen orb until it burst, chocolate dripping out in a mist of steam. “I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“These last few days have been the first time I’ve had fun since…” My words trailed off. I didn’t need to say anything further.
“Me too.”
“I’m surprised you agreed to today.” I leaned forward and took a bite.
“Why?”
I didn’t want to mention the growing tension between us, so I skipped over it.
“The last time I was in Onuna didn’t go so well. Aren’t you afraid Kaden will show up to drag me back?”
“He was not in Yejedin, and I doubt he would show up. He seems to want to stay hidden.”
My spoon stopped halfway to my mouth, and I stared at him. I felt the color drain from my face, my stomach rolling.
“You went to Yejedin?” My heart stilled in my chest. “Is that where you’ve been? Why you left me for six days?”
He sighed and lowered his spoon to rub his hand across his jaw as if he hadn’t meant to tell me.
“You did.” I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. “You said you’ve been busy, but this… That’s why you asked about Yejedin when
we went to the beach.”
“Dianna.”
Blood pounded in my ears. “You’ve been lying to me.”
“No, I simply did not tell you all I was doing.”
“Why?”
“Because your healing is—”
“Oh, save it,” I snapped. “I don’t care about my healing, and don’t use that as an excuse. We both know you went down there to kill him.”
He just stared at me, confirming everything without saying a word. I slammed my spoon down hard enough to break it.
“It is not your vengeance to seek!”
“Isn’t it?” he snapped back, meeting fire with fire as he always did.
Never harsh or cruel, but never afraid. And a flicker of flame in me bent
toward him and his indomitable will. “You didn’t just lose a sister, Dianna. I lost you in every way possible. He hurt you. He will pay for that whether or not you think it’s acceptable. I didn’t tell you because you would have run to confront him. You’re a fool to think I’d let you near him without your powers. You mean too much to me.”
My anger pulled back a fraction, even as my chest ached. “Don’t try to calm me down with pretty words when we both know the truth. You’re doing it again. Shutting me out. Just like at Drake’s. You’re avoiding me. I had to practically beg you to get you to spend even a day with me.”
“No, I’m not, and no, you didn’t. I told you I was busy.”
“Yes, searching for him to take away the last thing I have….” The words died in my throat. It was the last thing I had of her, the last thing I could do for her. I’d had the chance, and I’d chosen to flee, to return to the god king staring at me. “Look, I get it. You don’t need me anymore. You have them. They can help and fight with you while I wait in a fucking castle for you to return.”
He recoiled as if I had slapped him. “That is the farthest thing from
true.”
“Well, how would I know?”
“Listen, yes, I opened Yejedin to find him. I wanted to kill him so it would be over. I want you safe, Dianna, and I am willing to eliminate anything that would hurt you in this world and the next. But when we got there, we found something I am uncomfortable discussing in the open like this.”
“Well, it’s not like you will discuss it when we get back. You’ll leave.
Again,” I snapped, leaning a fraction away from him.
“I am not the one who left, Dianna. You did.”
And it was the truth, the absolute truth. Yet, here I was, acting as if he needed to tell me everything he did when I left, when I hurt him in every way possible, lied to him, used what he had taught me, and spat it back in his face. I had no right.
“You’re right,” I said. “I did leave, but killing Kaden feels like the only part of her I have left. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I understand. I do, but death, even by your hands, will not bring you the peace you wish.” His gaze met mine, every bit of care and compassion swirling in those depths. I nodded, swallowing the growing lump in my throat.
“Is this all we are going to do? Argue?” I sighed. “I miss how we were.”
Shock slapped his expression. “I miss how it was before it all went to shit.”
A soft smile curved his lips. “I mean, we still argued.”
I nodded, my anger fading as quickly as it had come.
“Dianna, I am trying. I really am trying to keep my head above water, help you, help the world, and defeat this psychopath. So, please, bear with me. I am not trying to keep things from you. Your life is more important than anything. I just can’t lose you again, and I am not sure how to handle all this.”
“Well, you don’t have to handle it alone. We used to rely on each other
more.”
“I know. I just want you to… heal.”
“And I want to help.”
Samkiel sighed and pulled his hat off, running his hand through his hair, exhaustion etched into his features. It hit me, then. Just how tired he had been lately and how I was not helping but only adding to it. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, not in the slightest. I pushed my anger aside because the truth was, I cared for him enough that I was worried about him.
“I’ve ruined this.” I blew out a long breath.
“This?”
“Yup, this was supposed to be a date.”
His eyes gleamed, his throat bobbing nervously as if he had been waiting to hear those exact words. “A date?”
I nodded. “I wanted it to be.”
“Well, I do not think you’ve ruined anything.”
“Agree to disagree.” I huffed, placing a hand under my chin. “We kinda got into a fight.”
He shrugged nonchalantly as he crossed his arms and leaned on the table. “A slight misunderstanding, at the most. We’ve had many.”
I couldn’t help the small smile that curved my lips. “Well, I don’t want to fight with you or have any slight misunderstandings. I want one good day.”
“I agree. I don’t want to fight with you, either. I know you are not used to it, but your safety comes first for me. You cannot be within an inch of Kaden without your powers. Not because I think you are weak, but if he hurt you again, touched you, I’d level the world.”
I met him stare for stare, knowing he had the power to do it and he wouldn’t hesitate. Something must be wrong with me because it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard. “Just let me stab him. Once.”
“Dianna.” He said my name as a warning.
“Look, I know killing Kaden won’t make it better or bring her back, but it would be done at my hands, and that would give me some solace. A way for me to feel like I wasn’t a complete failure when it came to her.”
His eyes bore into me as he contemplated that for a moment. “Fine.”
“That’s it? You’ll let me.”
He picked up his spoon and took another bite. “Sure. You may deliver your final blow once I am done with him. I’ll make sure I’ve incapacitated enough that he cannot hurt you if your powers are not back. Will that suffice?”
My lips twisted in a smirk. “You’re cute when you’re homicidal.”
He made a noise low in his throat. “Do not be mean, then flirt with me.”
“Why? It’s our whole dynamic.”
He grumbled as he ate.
“Besides the ice skating, I brought you here for a reason.”
His eyes widened a fraction, the spoon stilling in his mouth as if he thought I had brought him here to kill him. He picked up a napkin and
wiped his mouth.
“Is it more painful ice activities?”
I shook my head. “Nope. No pain involved.”
Interest danced in his gaze. “Alright. Enlighten me then.”
“I want to show you something.”
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