Sixty-Four
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Dianna
F or once, my dreams weren’t about death, blood, or sharp teeth but
sighs, moans, and writhing beneath the sheets. Hands that gripped my
hips, fingers banded with silver rings, holding me tight. Skin against skin, begging to be marked, claimed, and a tickle of stubble that brushed along my thighs.
I woke up with a sigh on my lips, my body aching, and tremors rippling through me as the dream faded. Hunger pulsed within me, but I wasn’t craving food.
My hand reached out, searching for the god next to me, but I came up empty-handed. I rolled over, realized I was alone, and sat up. Sunlight streamed between the thick curtains that hung over the windows. I blew a stray piece of hair from my face, a wave of disappointment and frustration replacing the lust coursing through my veins. I tossed the covers back and padded across the floor. Grabbing a sheer robe, I tossed it over my tank and lounge pants.
I headed downstairs, following the sound of voices to the kitchen.
“… that’s the problem. A lot of them don’t make sense.”
Imogen held a large journal, flipping through what looked like pictures and scribbled words. Samkiel leaned on the counter, absorbed in the images.
Right, Imogen was his advisor now. I’d killed the other one.
My stomach didn’t roll or pinch at the sight of her like before. I didn’t have that overwhelming urge to snap or claw at her. My only urge revolved around ripping those damn council garbs off Samkiel with my teeth. I just
needed him alone.
“Good morning,” I said.
Imogen and Samkiel were so lost in conversation they hadn’t heard me come in. Imogen spun toward me, her eyes wide. “Morning,” she said, her tone hesitant.
“Dianna,” Samkiel stood up, “when did you….” His words trailed off as he closed the journal and slid it across the counter to Imogen.
I walked further into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter, my eyes catching on the journal. “Super secret council stuff?”
“Yes, completely classified.” He smirked behind the cup he lifted to his lips, the smell reminding me of the coffee on Onuna. “Which also means I will tell you later.”
I grinned, our eyes connecting. We stared at each other, the tension nearly sparking in the air between us. Imogen cleared her throat and shuffled her feet.
“Did you guys already eat?” I asked, leaning forward to look at the assortment of grains and fruit.
“No,” Samkiel responded. “I haven’t been up that long. I didn’t want to wake you.”
I chose a piece of the toasted grains and said, “Too bad. You should have stayed. I would have woken you up. I was feeling generous.”
He choked on his drink, his face turning red as he coughed. I grinned and took a bite of the toasted grains before turning to Imogen.
“Sorry, I’ve been a bitch lately. I’m kind of a dick.” I placed my hand over my mouth as I chewed and shrugged. “Sometimes… well, most of the time.”
Her mouth did that thing again, where she looked like she wanted to speak but couldn’t.
Samkiel wiped the edge of his mouth, his eyes burning with lust. My words had hit home, and I knew he was reliving the same illicit memories that had awakened me.
A low chime broke the silence in the kitchen, and Imogen reached for a small circular device. “Sorry, that’s us.”
Samkiel cleared his throat and placed his cup down. “Okay. I apologize, but I’m needed back at the council. I do not know if I will return tonight, but I will try.”
My smile faded, and worry darkened his expression as if preparing for that viscous, vile part of me to raise its head and snap. He started to say
something, but I held my hand up.
“It’s fine. I may go for a run or two. I promise I will not wither away while you’re gone. Just not six days again. Please.”
I couldn’t do the silence. I couldn’t.
He nodded, his eyes screaming how sorry he was. “Of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Promises, promises,” I teased, forcing a small smile.
A look crossed his face, an odd combination of lust and longing, but I didn’t have a chance to figure out what it was before he left with Imogen.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around myself. I was a liar. As soon as he left, that lurking darkness seemed to grow. It crawled and yipped in the corners of every room, its hands outstretched, threatening to devour me. I steadied my breathing.
“This is just your emotions, Dianna, nothing more, nothing less. You’re okay. You’re okay,” I whispered to myself, hoping I could convince myself if I said the words out loud. But even through the clamor of my thoughts, that damned voice whispered beneath it all.
“You’re running out of time.”
D espite my mood , the day was beautiful , and I spent it outside running. I hoped to exhaust myself. Maybe then my body would force me into sleep and keep the nightmares at bay. Determined not to allow that darkness to overtake me again, I showered and made an actual dinner before settling onto the window seat in the living area. I rubbed my sore calf, the house so quiet it was deafening.
I wrapped the long silk night dress around my legs, placed the small plate on my lap, and took a bite of the sandwich. The bread here was so much lighter, nearly melting in my mouth with every bite. Even the fruit seemed sweeter.
The sun had set a few hours ago, and a filigree of stars blanketed the night sky. I’d kept the lights inside low. Too much made my head hurt, so I kept it just bright enough to push back the darkness. I stretched and placed
my empty plate aside, watching the stars spin above. Some of them seemed so much closer here, even a few nearby planets that were closer than the moon orbiting Onuna. The deep, otherworldly colors glowed in the night sky. A cool breeze blew in through the window, bringing with it the sweet earthy scents of the forest and the perfume of foreign flowers. All of it made the lack of wildlife even more apparent. No birds or creatures stirred outside. I hadn’t even seen any insects. I pulled my legs up, wrapping my arms around them.
“I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to be around me either,” I muttered, curling a long strand of my hair around my finger. A star caught my eye, twinkling as if in answer. It shone so far away, yet it was one of the brightest.
“What? Are you judging me? You’re just a ball of gas. What do you know?”
It flashed twice, and I reared back, dropping my legs.
“Can you hear me?”
One wink.
I tossed my hands up. “That’s it. I’ve gone insane. Now I’m talking to
stars.”
The star flashed.
I placed my hands under my chin and leaned on the windowsill. The wind sent phantom fingers through my hair, teasing it back off my face.
“Well, star, I guess there is no harm in pretending you can hear me. It’s nice not to be alone. Without Samkiel here, that’s all I feel. But I guess I did that to myself. Or maybe I have always been alone.”
It twinkled in response.
“You can’t call me a liar. You don’t even know me.”
Another sparkle, and I plucked at the material of my dress.
“I miss my family, not that I really remember them after all this time. I remember my father’s and mother’s faces but not their laugh or voices. It terrifies me I might forget Gabby’s, too. I just miss my sister. More than anything. She always had the answers and knew what to say to make everything better.” My chest felt heavy, emotions hitting me like a ton of bricks. “She would tell me I’m stupid for what I’ve done, but she would love me anyway, and I am so afraid I will never have that again.”
The star seemed to dull before flashing twice more, calling me a liar.
Then it hit me as if the star itself was telling me to look where I currently
am. I turned and glanced around the house. It wasn’t a prison but a palace designed just for me and created by the one person I’d treated like absolute trash. A wave of guilt washed through me.
“I’m worried I’ll ruin that too, little star.” I pushed away from the window, not looking to see if the star responded, but I could have sworn light spilled into the room, could have sworn it answered, but it could just be my newfound insanity.
I headed upstairs, figuring Samkiel wasn’t coming back tonight.
My whole body felt heavy, but I didn’t feel tired. In the bathroom, I placed my hands on either side of the sink and looked into the mirror.
“Okay, inner brain, we’ve suppressed and pouted enough. It’s time to wake up.”
I stared at myself, squinting, willing my eyes to change.
Nothing.
I slapped my face hard. Maybe if I pissed myself off, I would wake something up. There wasn’t even a flicker of red. I held my hand to my
aching, hot cheek, glaring at myself.
“Ow. That was dumb.”
Grimacing, I stood there for a minute, thinking. I spun, pacing back and forth in the bathroom, talking to myself like a madwoman. I turned and jumped in front of the mirror, hissing as if that would force my fangs to descend. Nothing happened other than I looked stupid.
I gave up and blew out a breath, putting my hair up in a sloppy bun before heading into the oversized closet. As I walked through, every shelf I passed lit up. A large, round white bench sat in the center of the room.
Shoes, ranging from sneakers to heels, covered the back wall. I reached out, running my fingers along the various pieces of clothing hanging from the double-stacked racks. A sad smile touched my lips, remembering why Samkiel had made this room.
A vampire prince who had pretended to care about me, and a man I had thought was my friend. The glossy room changed to the stupid, overly lavish room in the brick mansion. I could see Drake striding in as if he belonged there. I saw myself like I was now as he moved through the clothes, talking to me like he cared. Liar. Traitor. The entire time, he knew what he was doing. They had already decided to betray me, yet he had looked me in the eye and told me I was family. I saw myself standing there, believing every word that dropped from his lying lips.
“I was a good friend,” I snapped to his memory. “You weren’t a good friend, but I was. I will not feel guilty about that. I won’t.” The memory shifted as Samkiel appeared behind the other version of me. The ghost of Drake stiffened, and I understood like I hadn’t before. Drake wasn’t just scared of Samkiel, even though the image of him towering over me made even me pause. No, he was worried because I had someone who would protect me no matter what. I had not seen it then, but I saw it now. Pride filled me because to fall under Samkiel’s protection was something to be proud of. A soft smile curved my lips, something warm and sweet replacing the pain I had felt. Samkiel had always been there, a shield and protector, whether or not I had thought I needed it.
The memory faded, but the smile stayed on my face as I crawled into bed. The lights dimmed until they turned off. I rolled toward the window, watching the hem of the long curtains dance against the floor. I stayed like that for a while, but sleep never came. A thousand and one thoughts raced through my mind, all of them leading back to Samkiel. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours before I sighed and kicked the covers off.
He had helped me so much, even when I was a complete dick. He was still helping me. The words he said and how he backed them up with his actions woke something in me I’d buried the second she died. I felt. I felt things like happiness, guilt, and even regret. That had to mean something, right?
A banging started on that locked door, making my head throb. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.
My arms hit the bed. The empty cold bed. When was the last time I had sex? Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Why our time together, the dream, and the heated glance this morning had need scraping over every nerve-ending and set my blood to boiling. No, it was those damn council garbs. That’s what it was. They fit his powerful shoulders and tapered to his waist, and I knew the chiseled muscles they hid.
“No,” I said to the empty room. “Don’t even think about it. Don’t go there.”
Samkiel’s hand had brushed mine and set a thousand nerve endings on fire. I hadn’t felt that in so damn long.
“Nope, Dianna. We’re not doing this.”
I flipped onto my stomach, covering my head with a pillow, trying to hide from the naughty thoughts plaguing my brain. It didn’t help. I
remembered every flirty comment and every heated glance, my mind eagerly supplying the memories.
The bed was too empty, the smell of him lingering. I missed him and hated that he distracted me without doing a damned thing.
I flipped onto my back, the silk of my nightgown tangling around my legs. It was too hot, too constricting. I sat up, gathering the silk material at my hips and ripping it over my head before throwing it onto the floor. My underwear went next. They were the small, lacy ones that Samkiel knew I liked. Fuck. I fell back onto the bed.
The curtains over the window were partly open, allowing the opaque moonlight to drip inside. A tingle of excitement shivered through me at the thought Samkiel might pass by and see me. A slight breeze blew into the room, nipping at my heated flesh, and I moaned, pretending it was his touch. My eyes dared to close, images from Chasin playing in my head. The memory of how he’d held me, how his hand had dipped between my legs, how purely amazing it felt, made my core tighten.
I thought about Samkiel. I always thought about Samkiel. Even when I lied and said I didn’t. Samkiel was important to me, and if I was honest with myself, I only craved his touch. My breathing quickened as I imagined the feel of his powerful arms wrapping around me. How the heavy, sleek muscles of his chest and abdomen had clenched when I took him into my mouth. The v-line of his oblique muscles pointed toward his thick cock. A shudder ran through me as I finally allowed myself to think of him again. It was nearly a relief to admit I wanted him.
My hand slid slowly down my neck, picturing him above me, tracing the path I wanted his mouth to take. I cupped my breast, rubbing my nipples, pleasure shooting through me as they tightened to aching points.
Would he always be gentle, or was there another side of Samkiel he would show me once he had me like this? The thought thrilled me. I trailed my hand lower, past the planes of my stomach. My fingers brushed my clit, and my breath hitched, my thighs falling open. I knew the words he would say,
knew them with a fiery passion.
Are you deprived, my Dianna?
Oh, yes. Gods, yes, I was.
My hips lifted, my fingers circling my clit. I’d barely touched myself, and just the thought of him had me dripping. I pictured his mouth in place of my fingers, his silver eyes watching me as his tongue circled at the
sensitive entrance before teasing over the small sensitive bud of my clit. My moan felt torn from my soul as I slipped two fingers deep into the tight, wet heat of my pussy and curled them. I moved them faster, whimpering and biting at the pillow next to me, his pillow. I ground the palm of my hand against my clit, Samkiel’s scent filling my lungs with every breath. My other hand cupped my breast, squeezing at one nipple and then the other.
My small cry of pleasure broke the silence, and I didn’t care who heard.
Oh, gods. My pussy clenched, the slick, tight walls fluttering around my fingers. I writhed, imagining his cock filling me, reaching for that release. I had been so unsatisfied since him. No matter who I took or what I did, it felt nowhere close to being with him. I hadn’t even fucked him yet, and I was a mess. Gods, I wanted him so badly. I wanted him between my legs, in my mouth, everywhere I could take him. And I would take him until he was a breathless, sweating mess beneath me.
The image of him panting and begging beneath me flooded my brain and almost sent me over the edge. I moved my fingers deeper and faster, picturing his hands grabbing my hips, those silver rings digging into my skin as I rode him harder. I slipped another finger in, trying to mimic what he would feel like. My pussy quivered, the burn of the stretch exquisite. I remembered the dirty words he’d whispered when he discovered how much I enjoyed hearing them, and another wave of pleasure burst in my core. My hips thrust up, and my head slammed against the pillow. I remembered the deep huskiness of his voice, picturing how much he could take before I made him come, and then the look on his face, his pleasure. I wanted him to call my name while buried so far in me that—
My body shook as I came so hard and fast that I nearly wept. My fingers stilled inside me, rubbing my clit, squeezing every last bit of pleasure from my orgasm. I panted, my body trembling. I bit at the pillowcase, trying to muffle my cries. It was the first real orgasm I’d had in months. The first one I had since the last time Samkiel touched me. All I did was picture his face, mouth, those rippling muscles, and those filthy fucking words. I groaned, another orgasm ripping through me. My legs shook along with my body, every nerve ending on fire. I was a sweaty, breathless mess as I came down from the high. My chest heaving, I clamped my hands over my aching sex. I lay there, shocked, staring up at the ceiling. It was good, but not enough. I still ached, my body demanding the real thing, not the mock attempt.
I didn’t know how long I lay there before I got up and took another shower. I changed clothes, changed the sheets, and finally crawled back into
bed.
Samkiel didn’t come back.
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